Why Me

As the days have turned into months,
I continue to contemplate my life and wonder
If this is all that life
Has to offer.

Each and every morning that I awake
I wonder why?
Why was I chosen to go down
this frightening path, we call life?

Why should I be faced with the
grim reality of what my life has become?
With each passing day, my life feels like
it's spinning out of control.

And how, do I, regain control of the life I once knew,
And how, will I, find the strength
to adjust to all of those changes, and the courage
to accept what has happened.

I feel abandoned by the one person
Who was there to guide me, and answer all of my questions,
I have asked them so many times
and with time, they continue to go unanswered.

So why Me?
I know I haven't been the perfect example,
But I only did what I had to do to survive.
I never purposely set out to hurt another person.

I have given my time,
I have given my love,
and I have given myself unconditionally,
So why Me?

I probably will never get the answer I seek,
Or even if I will understand it completely,
Or even if it would subside the fear and the anger,
But, I deserve to know.

And with everything, I still have to ask,
Why Me?

The Writer's Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

Do I Dare?

To find love once is a blessing
to loose love is an emotion
that seems to never end.
I have been fortunate in life to have loved
someone who remains
in my heart each and every day.

The love I found was the best feeling
I ever had the pleasure of knowing.
And when I lost the love of my life
to a horrific accident, I felt completely lost.

Since then I have found someone
who makes me feel those same emotions.
Now I ask myself a question
Do I dare?

Do I dare?
Open my mind and soul and
give into the feelings of loving
someone again.

Do I dare?
Open my heart and let you in
even though the thought of loosing
again scares me beyond belief.

Do I dare?
Attempt at loving again
and facing the possibilities of
heartache all over again.

Do I dare?
Open myself to the idea of
Living, Breathing and Loving
someone unselfishly once again.

Do I dare?
Realize that it was better to have loved
than to have never loved at all.
Will I realize that it's possible once again?

Do I dare?
Give in and open my
heart mind and soul
and love you.

Do I dare?????

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

Then Came You

Almost two years ago,
my life came to an abruptly screeching halt.
And it seemed that I have been walking through
life alone down a dark and murky tunnel.
And then came you.

The day I received that phone call,
telling me the love of my life was gone,
It seemed that life as I knew, ceased to exist.
I was left feeling empty and hollow inside.
And then came you.

And even though you have just entered my life
you have given me the courage to look
where my life was headed.
And you opened my eyes to the very idea that
love was once again possible.

You have shown me that life filled with
love, passion and happiness is much more
than life filled with anguish, sadness and grief.
I know the love I have lost can not ever be replaced,
But you, have shown me,
that love can be truly enjoyed again.

And the very thought of caressing your body,
kissing your lips, and holding you close to me,
Has ignited a spark within my soul.
Forcing me to reach for the stars once again
and wanting me to live each day to the fullest.

I never thought I would feel this way again,
But you found the key to my heart
that I so carefully had hidden,
I want you to know that I am so very happy
that you have become a part of my life,
and showing me that life does go on.

It has always been difficult at times
to express my feelings through words,
So I am expressing them here.
Thank you for showing me
the ability to love again,
Because after all,
Then Came You.

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

Mom's

In this world there is nothing
more precious than the love of a mother.
Mom's always give us their
love unselfishly.

A mother is capable of so much more
than just
unconditional love for a
child.

They are our very first teachers
Mothers open a young child's mind
and show us the love of the world
from the very beginning.

They soon grow into our confidants
with every obstacle we overcome
and every stumble we make.
Mothers give us love and help us find our way.

Mothers are always are biggest allies,
With everything we do
You are always there with
a strong hand when needed and
always a tissue to help wipe away the tears.
You give us love once again.

Mothers teach us love and give us
the wings to help us soar.
You give us strength to
achieve all of our
hopes and dreams.

And through it all
you have become our best friends.
You've devoted your life to us
by always giving us that unconditional love.

Thank you to all of the moms.
For being there when we've all stumbled,
when we've all reached the stars
and achieved our dreams.
And just for being our
Mom.

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

The Love We Shared

As I sit back and remember
the love that we shared,
The thought of you brings back
very emotional and happy thoughts.

With each and every morning
that we awoke in each others arms
They were the very core of my being
You were so beautiful laying beside me.

And with each and every night that
we fell asleep in each other's arms
I felt so safe and secure,
And someday we'll be together again.

And as I fell asleep last night
the thought of wrapping my arms
around your body, brought tears to
my eyes, as I could not hold you tight against me.

And as I awoke this morning
and before I opened my eyes
I reached for you, and all that
I found was an empty and lonely space.

And as you are sitting on
that beautiful cloud in heaven
I can't help but feel angry
that you are not here by my side.

And as I am down here on Earth
I miss you, more that words can say
And the thought of you helps me
through the sad and lonely days.

Because, someday,
We will be in each other's arms
again, and wrap ourselves in the
Love that we shared.

To my love in heaven,
This world is not the same without you,
But I have been blessed
by the love we shared.

And my love, I want you to know
that I Love and Miss you
with every last breath
within my body.

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002


 

Absent Father

As a child grows up,
there are many people
that sail through that
young child's life.

While I was growing up
there were many special
people that have left
my life.

And unfortunately there are
people that leave that
are very much needed.

When it comes to my father,
I can only remember the times
sitting and waiting for
him to show up.

And even though he never came,
I just sat back and forgave him
and believed him when he said
he would be there the next time.

Even after all of those
sad and lonely days waiting around
for him to show up.

And the little boy inside me
always hoped he would be there.

And as I grew up
and went through some of the most
important times in a young mans life
Somehow I hoped that you
would be there.

From my first merit badge in Boy Scouts
to my first day of High School.
And from my first driving lesson to
the day I graduated.

All I wanted was you
Why did you let me down
each and every time?

And for all of those years
you continued to let me down
for one reason or another
I asked myself why
you didn't love me.

And it wasn't until recently
I stopped blaming myself.
And I have slowly learned
to forgive you for that.

And even now,
I love you for one reason,
you gave me life.

However,
you may be my father,
You will never be my dad.

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

True Love

When the thought of you
enters my mind
I cannot keep the smile from appearing on my face
I don't remember anyone having this effect on me.

And when you appear
in my eyes
Seeing you for the first time
of each new dawning day
My heart skips a beat.

It tells me you are near
And I don't remember anyone
having this effect on me.

And when you touch me
each and every time we make love
You fill my being
with a love I cannot hide.
I don't remember anyone
having this effect on me.

And throughout everything
the thought of you
the sight of you
Makes me want to be a better man.

And with every last breath
You will always be
My one
True Love.

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

In My Eyes you are A Lady Forever

There are times
I know I haven't been to where you have been
And I haven't
Seen what you have seen.

So I know there are times
when you are feeling frustrated.
When you try to explain the times
that something is annoying you.

But please understand that
I as your son,
Will love you unconditionally.
No matter where that road leads you.

And when it comes time
for that fork in the road,
And you find yourself wandering down that
road that turns into a river of tears...

I want you to understand that
I as your son,
Will be there to help guide you
through those rough and murky waters.

And when that river of grief finally
hurtles you ashore,
Please don't be frightened when you
find yourself standing there alone.

However,
I as your son,
Will be there to hold your hand
and guide you to the love that I have for you.

Because
You always have been,
And always will be,
In my eyes,
A Lady Forever.

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

Intentions

The day you came into my life,
you were just
Another stranger.
I had no intention of
Meeting you.

And as we were introduced,
I found the time as awkward
as can be.
I had no intention of
Talking to you.

And as the conversation flowed along,
I found myself agreeing about
All of the things we had in common.
I had no intention of
Anything more than an acquaintance.

And then we found ourselves
Moving over to the coffee house.
And as we laughed and carried on
I had no intention of
Being more than Friends.

And as we sat there
Talking and laughing,
I found myself lost in your eyes.
I had no intention of
Being lovers.

And as we were sitting in front
of the fireplace, I found myself
Responding to your flirtations
Could this really be happening?
I had no intention of
Falling in Love.

And as we awoke in each others arms
the following morning,
After a wonderful night filled with
passion and romance,
I had no intention of
Leaving your arms.

Unfortunately, Life has its own
Agendas for each and every one of us.
But as I look back at the two years
We had together,
I have every intention
Of remembering our love the two of us shared.

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

Sweet Sister

When I sit and look back
at all of the times we've shared together
The thought of you always brings a smile to my face,
and fills my heart with unconditional love.

I can remember how excited I was
when you finally entered this world.
And knowing the security that came from believing that,
we always will and always have been
there for each other.

I can remember each and every Christmas morning,
that we've spent together.
Waking each other up, so excited to find out
what Santa had left for us.
Do you remember all of those mornings when
mom and dad,
would come in and tell us to go back to bed?

I can even remember all those times when we were sick,
from your scarlet fever, to my asthma attacks.
And when we were near,
it seemed to be all of the comfort that we needed.

I even remember all of our Sibling Rivalries.
And all of the pestering we did
to see who annoyed who first.
And do you remember when we found out that our
matching monkeys could take care
of all of our annoying little habits?
I still have mine, Do You?

But as I look back at our past together
And all of the times spent with one another
from the most memorable,
to our worst nightmares come true.
We always believed in each other unconditionally.

And as I look to our future,
I have one wish for you.
May all of your own hopes and dreams come true.

Because, after all, we are
Brother and Sister
I love you.

For my Boo boo, love always Pooky.

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

You Tell Us

You tell us
That life is of constant change
Some of its for the betterment of man
and some for the destruction.

You Tell Us
That we were all created equal
But why don't we start
living and breathing unity and understanding?

You Tell Us
that we are all your children,
But when are your children
going to stop living in hatred?

You Tell Us
We're only given what we can handle.
How are we to deal with the
emotions we don't understand?

You Tell Us
that our compassion and understanding
will replace our anger and fear
But does it really?

When are we going to believe in
what you tell us
And will we ever be free to live
in peace and harmony?

You Tell Us!

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

Oh How I Miss You

Yesterday was your Birthday
I awoke thinking of you,
and all of our special times together.

Oh, How I miss you.

As I went through my day,
I ended up in a store looking at birthday cards.
And as I found one that was perfect for you,
I realized that I was unable to send it to you.

I went to dial your phone number to hear your voice,
And there's no answer there anymore.
Then I thought about driving by your house,
But you no longer live there either.

Oh, How I miss you.

And as I realized and looked back
at the wonderful times we spent together
They brought back memorable and happy thoughts,
And I found myself wishing
that we were together again.

My darling I miss you more than words can say.
So I am relaying my thoughts and prayers to you,
I will always love you.

Oh, How I miss you.

The Writers Child

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

Fathers & Sons

There were times
When we didn't get along
And there were times
that we did.

There are times
that I can remember
when we were truly
father and son.

And there were times
when we seemed
more like enemies
than allies.

But through all of
our ups and downs
You have given me
Wisdom, strength and courage.

Even though I didn't
fully understand the lessons
at the time
You were always there teaching me.

And now when I
look back you were
more than a step parent
You were more than a father.

You have always been
my strongest ally
My shoulder to lean on
and one of my best friends
You are and always will be my Dad.

Justin Newman
Copyright 2002

Remembering

As I look back and remember
there is one person,
who always comes to mind,
As being there.

My mother

When I remember the times
from my adolescent years
from my first broken bone to
my first school play,

You were there.

When I remember the times
from my Teenage years
My first broken heart to
the day I graduated.

You were there.

When I remember the times
when I felt nothing would ever go right,
to the times I felt
I could accomplish all my hopes and dreams.

You were there.

And now as I sit here,
Please remember
That all I am, and all I ever will be
I owe to you...

My Mother...

I Love You...

Justin Newman
Copyright 2001

January 2001

The Ivy Door

To all those who pass through
this ivy door
may your days be filled
with passion and love.

And

To all those who pass through
this ivy door
may all of your dreams of reality,
see the light of day.

And

To all those who pass through
this ivy door
may you lose all of your
inhibitions and feelings of inequality.

And

To all those who pass through
this ivy door
May we all come together
as one with peace and unity.

And

As we all pass through
this ivy door
may we forget all of our
Prejudices and short comings
and realize we are
all one.

By:

The Lady's Son

Justin Newman
December 2000

Copyright 2002